Veronika, I’m reading the posts here and remembering the great things you brought to my life. I remember how we used to laugh at the funny name of the mob guy that allegedly lived in your apartment before.And now I can’t remember his name so I want to call you badly. Ask for that name and have a great f———laugh. Then I’d ask you how your day was and banter about mine.

This is the first time in my life that I realize some things might be lost forever, like the name of the mob guy and the laugh we would share. And that makes me cherish the little things now. But also it’s hard to keep my head up.

I keep coming back to our picture from when we were kids. You are laughing there so much I think you’re peeing yourself a little. I’m next to you with my hand in front of my face, maybe I farted or something, I don’t know maybe that’s what made you laugh so much. I just wish so much I could share that laugh with you again.

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I have no words. I don’t know. I just really don’t know. I still remember that hug I gave you on my balcony, in the sun. You were scared to come downstairs and open up to our parents, especially dad. I don’t know how it was in your shoes, but I feel like you shielded me from so much by being older.

Veronika, in a way we truly were f——— soulmates. I will never forget you.