Hey brother,

Today I am okay. It’s been 2 years & 10 months without you. Today I am okay. I’ve learned to feel your presence with me when I hear a new song, watch a funny movie, or meet a new friend. I still want to call you, but I know I can’t. Some days that gaping hole in my heart opens up and my eyes begin to flood; but today I am okay. Those new songs I hear that I know you would’ve loved I play them twice, and sing the lyrics you would’ve mimicked extra loud. Funny movies these days make me laugh twice as hard as I imagine sharing that moment with you in the room. Today I am okay. I eat hot Cheetos and Tostitos Pizzas when I’m missing you extra to feel closer with you. Today I am okay. It sucks when I am missing dad, I always want to call you, but end up missing you too; but today I am okay. There’s so many things in this world I want to share with you. I wish you would’ve knew that things would get better… I had to convince myself for so long that that was true for me too. Days change & I miss you always. Today I am okay. Last month maybe I wasn’t okay, next month who knows. Everyday is different, but today I am okay. I feel what I feel, and I feel each emotion so deeply. You changed my life forever and at every stage of life I am still affected by your absence; but today I am okay. I move differently because of you; numb is numb; and sensitivity is sensitivity. Sometimes my days are black and white, some days they are bright, and when I am missing you and lost myself, it’s all grey; but today I am okay. When you first passed and people said you’re at peace, I couldn’t understand! But today I am okay & think hey, maybe you are at peace. I find your birthday numbers often; they appear randomly. The time 3:25. Order numbers 325. Address to location I am going 325; my tips for the night 325, gas prices $3.25; license plates *325***. I know you’re with me. Keep making your presence known please, keep guiding me. Especially on days when I am not okay. XOXO FMC