Hey Christian. I’m sorry for everything you were suffering toward the end. But the past 4 years especially. I wish I had been there for you more. Called more. Been physically present with you more. I want you to know I’m not angry with you. I know if you made this choice it was your final resort. Just know that I will love you forever and always. You are my brother for life. I hope to see you again. Thank you for the video you left for all of us. You left us with an incredible gift of knowing that you knew you were loved by us and that you loved us too. Thank you for that. I love you, sweet Christian.
Take solace in the fact that Christian left a video with last words to you and your family. I wish so much that my sister had done the same. I spoke to her on the phone the day before she died, I was trying to warn her that her fiancé was worried she was in a relationship with another man, it was just a friendship. She took the conversation as me, the little brother, trying to help her or overstepping my boundaries. She felt like my parents and I had to “check” on her cause she had recently lost her teaching job. I just wanted her to know what was going on and maybe I was checking on her, but it was out of love. I wish so much I could replay that conversation. I am so sorry for your loss, but I hope you can take some comfort in knowing that I share your pain.