I ran across this site today after reading the reference link in an NPR article on Sibling Survivors. It feels true that siblings are assumed to be able to navigate the complicated grief as a survivor. 3.5 years after losing my brother I continue to find my emotions cycling, continue to question the meaning of “normal”, and I continue to avoid anyone who I sense may be judging me or my family. I became a grandmother since my brother passed, so I am very much an adult with lots of life experience. Depsite that fact and the many therapies I’ve sought for this grief, I find my heart right back in that horrible time when reading the posts here – when my brother took his life without a word to anyone. I know I’ll weather this – even as I have been seeking healing – learning, growing, and changing are in process. My sincere hope for all of us and all of you is that we will give time TIME . Determine to learn, grow and change through the pain & process. I believe our loved ones understand our pain and are in some way, still with us. What I want now is to open myself to a different relationship with my brother – more expanded, more spiritual, less limited. Good Luck to all of us.
I lost my only brother June 1st to suicide. I am 49. He was 45 and left a wife, and 10 and 12 year old children. Thank you for your words. I don’t know when I’ll begin to accept the “new normal.”