A week ago my brother took his own life. He and I, as well as our older sister, have always been close. We all lived together. Despite being close, ive learned so much about him in this Last week. His girlfriend shot herself when they were sixteen, but I thought that he had moved on. He had a fiancé that loves him, and a stepson that meant the world to him. He also had a very bad drinking problem. My brother in law told me that he came home one night and found my brother sitting on the couch with my pistol laying next to him. Jeff looked at our brother in law and said,”it would have been so easy.” I can’t help but feel like, if I had known, I could have stopped him from actually going through with it. What I’ll never understand is why he used my gun. Of all the other guns in the house, of all the other ways he could have done it, why my gun? This week without him has been the hardest time in my life, and I have no idea how I am supposed to go on without him. I love you so much jeff, I will miss you every day.

I have lost both my sisters to suicide in 8 weeks, my youngest 17th December 16 & my eldest 10th February 17. They died 8 weeks apart. I have been plunged into a world of darkness where i am suddenly an only child & where life as i know it has ended. The pain is indescribable & i have no idea how I can move forward, leave my parents & return to work. I miss them both so much & in different ways.

My younger brother, Jeff, decided to put an end to his struggling. March 10, 2014. You may wonder why, almost 3 years later, I decided to start grieving. Well…Right after he shot himself, I started a physical decline which included both hips being replaced and a 3 inch screw being put in my foot. With all that, came Norco. I almost think it was God’s way of numbing my pain.
I’m just about done with the ‘meds’ used to wean off Norco. So now I’m feeling everything. It’s like, “Holy $h*t” my brother’s gone.
We were bonded together through adict parents. Neither of us wanting to ‘deal’ with them. But we always had each other’s back. One way or another. I’ve never laughed as hard as I have with him. He could just get me rolling somehow. We even lived together after both moving out (or being kicked out) at different times. He was a different character for sure…
Praying for a moment of peace, where we remember them and the sibling love that was shared. It wouldn’t hurt this bad if the love wasn’t there. So feel that again, if only for a moment.
Thanks for this…

I just learned last night that my brother killed himself. He was diagnosed with bipolar disorder about a year ago and was having a really hard time with it. I just saw him at Christmas, and he really seemed like he was doing okay. We talked and laughed a lot every day. I am just so heartbroken right now, I don’t know what to do. I keep thinking things would have been different if I just called him more, if I just tried a little harder. I can’t believe I’m never going to see him again or talk to him or hear his laugh. Does this ever get easier? I just hope he knew how much I loved him, and I hope he is finally at peace.

Hi. New to this and nervous – 2009, brother passed of own accord, still feel sad and guilty after this time. Spent a lot of time trying to help elderly mum and dad through it, but sometimes feel really down too. Miss him like crazy but keep outward strength to world. Keep up the good work.

Petite pensée pour toi ce soir fréro, j’voulais que tu sache que j’taime, j’taime pour toujours pis j’pense pas que je te l’ai jamais dit directement, mais je le pense pis je le pense vraiment. P’tête qu’on a jamais pu se connaitre comme il faut pis que je t’ai connu d’une mauvaise façon, mais aujourd’hui je comprend plus que jamais qu’est-ce que tu ressentais et comment est-ce que tu as réagis face à ce que tu vivais. C’était pas la meilleur solution pour nous mais c’était peut-être la meilleure que tu voyais à ce moment. J’ai rien pu faire, j’étais trop innocent et j’ai vu venir mais j’ai rien fait parce que j’étais qu’un enfant qui voulais arrêter de voir sa mère pleurer. Aujourd’hui je me rend compte à quel point j’étais dans l’erreur et â quel point je donnerais tout pour te parler encore une fois et te connaitre. Je sais que j’étais le pire des cons avec toi que tu croyais tout de même en moi fréro, et je t’en suis éternellement reconnaissant. Sache que ce soir je t’en fais la promesse, je vais me rendre loin, plus loin que jamais tu l’aurais espérer de moi et ce, pour toi, parce que je pense que quelque part tu es encore la, tu es encore en train de nous protéger. C’est drole comment même en étant non croyant dans nos moments difficiles on se retourne vers nos croyances. J’imagine que présentement je me retourne vers toi. Parce que je crois au plus profondément que tu m’as été le plus grand des professeur, plus grand que tout les professeurs que je vais jamais rencontrer, tu es celui qui m’a appris la vie.