It’s been five months and 11 days , since my little 23 year old sister took her own life . She didn’t leave a note , she wasn’t who I thought she was . Maybe deep down inside I guess it makes sense , that someone so beautiful inside and out , could do this …. I miss her terribly . People are so weird abou this . Many believe she didn’t do this , that she wouldn’t . My mother is still in denial , and I am full of anger . I am angry because I didn’t know how much she was suffering . The only two people who knew she was suicidal did not take her seriously . Her boyfriend and her ex lover long time friend . Looking back now , I see a confused 23 year old . I wish she wouldn’t have been so lost , we are all lost . The craziest thing is that she had her life so together , she was in grad school she had a God job , she was stunning . She didn’t have self worth …. this honestly a roller coaster of horrible emotions every day . I wanna blame our child hood and our up bringing , I am a suicide survivor. I tried to do it at 14 . I wish I knew what happened to this girl ? To my baby sister . How does one move on ,or lets go of this unbearable anger .??

My sister took her own life yesterday…I don’t know what to do or say or think or feel. We used to be so close but recently she became distant. I can’t help but wonder if I had messaged her or called her…maybe she would still be here.
I know she felt so alone but she always had a family that loved her. What more could we have done?
This is so surreal. I haven’t even cried yet. Am I suppose to cry?
She was only 20 years old.

Ok January 10 I got the call that forever changed me. My 27 year old brother hung himself. I feel so lost. He was so funny And I love him so much. Some days I’m ok and other days the hole is just immensely unbearable. I just want him back. I feel like everyone else has just moved on and it’s hard to relate with them. No one knows how much I hurt and cry. Even my husband. I definitely feel isolated. The longing to have him back is an almost tangible aching in my chest. I stumbled on this site and thought I would try reaching out.

Last month on March 13th, my mom and I came home to my brother hanging in our basement. He was 19 years old and I am 15. I don’t know exactly how to deal with such a tragic loss and I can’t help but think about it everyday, thinking about all the things I should have and could have done. I miss him everyday of my life and I am trying everything I can to keep my head up. I have nightmares about the image my mom had to be out through going down in the basement, it’s breaks my heart every time. I just hope he’s in a better place now and looking over me and my mom and keeping us safe. I love him with all of my heart, and I wish I could have done more to prevent it. I love you big brother.

My brother committed suicide

god, its been almost 3 years now since you shot yourself at the age of 21. And everyday it gets harder for me to except the fact that your gone because everyday i always look forward to you coming home but you never do. i just wish that you hadn’t of done it because i miss you every day and it’s killing me. what do i do to help except that your gone because you were my best friend and losing your best friend when your 10 is the hardest thing ever and now im missing you like crazy and i can’t help it. Matt i wish you were still here.

Wish I had called…

My older sister died March 20, 2017, due to an overdose of heroine. She knew it was going to kill her and she tried to stop using it. However, the stress from our family members, her 3 month old son not being in her care, and all her friends pushed her over the edge. I knew something was wrong that night, I knew she was going to die (because I know when loved ones die and it makes me feel guilty when they do and I did not tell them), but what hurts the most is that I never got to say goodbye. I was not allowed at her memorial and I am always the last to know what is going on with her. I am 17, almost 18, she was 23, and I have only 1 regret in life, and that is that I never called her.

Rough

okay so almost 3 years my big brother committed suicide and he was only 21 at the time. And lately its been rough for me because i have been missing him and my other big brother who lives in alaska and he is thinking about suicide and i just don’t know how to take it all in and i would really like to talk to someone about it but when it comes to stuff like i become very shy and i just don’t trust people with my feelings. i wish someone know what i was going through.

Subject: My (big) Little brother bear

Michael Ray I miss you so much already. Tomorrow is the day I’ve been dreading. Tomorrow, we say our last goodbyes here on Earth and I don’t even know how Im supposed to deal with this. You left me at the worst time ever but ya know I may have overlooked just how together u really were. Because now Im truly starting to find my spot in life and I AM gonna finish nursing school. I have to be aunt Racheal that Soph can depend on and the type of mother my girls can look up to. Goodnight and sweet dreams my Angel. I love u until the end of time. Xoxo

My Beloved Brother James
Its been a year since you left us.I still go to the back of the house where you loved to sit and wish I could just talk to you or just see you for a moment.I miss you so much,I still don’t understand why you took your own life.May God be with you bro and I hope you are final at rest and at peace.