Samantha, I miss you. I wish I could see you again, I wish I could call you to talk, I wish so many things for us both…. but now its just me. I know its been 11 yrs you’ve been gone now but i do see you in different places in my life. I see you as a red tailed hawk who visits the place i live. I see you in people standing on the side of the road waiting for a bus. I see you in your friends and peers as they struggle through life, like you could’ve been, should’ve be….I see your personality in other people but don’t know how to deal with it, if it were you acting like that I’d react differently but now when I see it I have to deal with the grief that its not you acting like that… its tough, no one understands the loss, the hurt, the longing to see you and hug you and have you in my life again. I miss you. I love you. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you when you needed me the most but I hope now that your on the other side I know your spirit will be there for me when i need it the most. I need you.
Samantha
11 yrs ago my sister decided that she didn’t want to live anymore. I had no idea she was struggling. every year I hope I can get through her birthday and death day without a breakdown, and every year I breakdown. There are so many things I’m still so mad about from when it happened and so many things that have happened after that I’m mad she can’t be a part of…..STILL 11 yrs later and its the hardest times of the year. What was once a celebratory time of year is now my personal hell cause no one shares the grief that I have over the loss of my sister…. I won’t ever have that relationship again, I know it will be a part of me that will be a hole wanting to be filled for the rest of my lif
How do i go on..?
I lost my sister to a suicide on overdosing pills about a month ago and it feels like its only been days. She was 17 and i’m dealing with this only just turning sixteen two months prior and i don’t know how to act right now. My parents are broken and i don’t know how to describe what i’m feeling aside from pain and grief. If anyone has dealt with something similar please advise me on what to do now, as i have no idea. I have summer work for my AP classes next year and friends over constantly but no matter how much i busy myself i cant get rid of the pain and i don’t know what to do. Please help me if you know how.
I don’t know what to do
My brother died 3 days ago. my mother is keeping me in the dark. I’m 30 years old. I’m almost 2000kms away and I’m so afraid. I can’t sleep I can’t function.
The World Has Moved On
It’s going to be 3 years on July 8th and I still haven’t gone to his grave. It took about a year after he died to get the gravestone put up because of financial issues. My mom had stage 3 cancer and we had her bills and then a surprise death. Apart of me wants to go visit him and lay on his grave and talk to him about what has happened in my life since 2014, but then the other side of me doesn’t want me to see his name in big bold letters. My brother was not just a grave stone. He was the most caring and loving person. Does anyone have advice?
I need it.
I’m 17.
Missing you
Mike, I wish you were here right now. Your birthday just passed and the anniversary of your death is approaching quickly. Just before Dad’s first father’s day without you, he received a text from a man claiming to be his son. We found a picture of him on Facebook from when he was probably close to my age and I broke down in tears. He’s our brother. I have been texting with him and we had a phone call. I want to talk to you about this so much. I think it would have brought us closer. He said he feels a sense of loss for the brother he never met and wants to know about you. I feel like I finally have someone who I can tell you about without them getting weird. You both share the same middle name! Mom is having a really hard time and missing you now more than ever. Dad is happy but stressed. We’re all missing and needing you Bubba. I think you guys would get along, you have a lot in common. Oh and guess what! You’re an uncle and I’m an aunt! He has three kids! Alright, this letter is all over the place. I just wanted to say I love you and wish you were here to share this with so so badly. Love, Airhead
lost my sister 2 weeks ago
I just lost my sister Karen 2 weeks ago. She took an overdose of pills. She had been grieving the last 6 months for her husband who lost his 3 year battle with pancreatic cancer. They had been married 32 years and had been inseparable. Her grief was just too much, she couldn’t live without him. I am her sister and we were very close only 21 months apart. She was my life long best friend. I can not believe I’m here on a suicide website. I can’t believe she is gone. Any words of encouragement welcome
Debbie
I need to know my options
Hi, my name is tori and I’m 16 years old. It will be a year since my brother hung himself on June 29 and the hardest thing To deal with for me is school. I can’t focus and simply think it’s stupid for me to be so stressed out and worried about graduating high school when there are so many other more important things for me to try to deal with. Second semester last year I switched to an online school called foothills but ended up not doing my work enough and got kicked out. In the fall I want to do a dual enrollment program where I can do some classes (drama and easy going ones) at the high school and do my academic classes online but my parents are worried the same thing will happen with that and I will end up being really behind. My mom wants me to start back at my regular high school in the fall but between the fake people who pretend to be my friend just because my brother died and the work load and general non-helpful environment, I feel like I’m suffocating there and I can’t bare to go back full time. I just want to know if anyone on here has any advice or any knowledge of other schooling options that could better accommodate people who have felt the loss of a sibling through suicide. Thanks in advance <3
Dear Sandy
Sandy,
I feel so sad for ho much u suferred. And for how u were so alone in the end. And for how long it took u to die in your confused state.
Yoru brain was so disturbed that u though twe were against u, but, in fact, we all loved u dearly.
Just feeling teary today about your suferring with schizoaffective disorder.
Love u. I hope that the God u rejected has taken u into his arms anyway, being merciful beyond measure. I hope u r in a more peaceful place.
What’s my new normal?
My little brother hung himself on June 13th. I’ve been on autopilot for the past week, taking care of my parents, trying to help my Mom struggling through the knowledge that my brother was a professed atheist. Relegated to the role of helper, fixer, runner, even to make sure our “guests” had seats, drinks, were comfortable and were all properly and graciously greeted and thanked for attending. Does anyone realize that we, as brothers and sisters lost someone too? Sorry, I’m just mad.
