My brother Michael took his life after a 6 or 7 year battle with schizophrenia. I feel like I lost him twice, and I feel guilty for even thinking that. He is gone now for good. Sometimes in my head I scream “where are you?” I can’t fathom it. The pain sometimes feels unendurable. I am wracked with grief, guilt, regret, horror. I love you so much, Michael. I miss you.