My brother was born in May of 1972 when I was 10 months and 3 weeks old. He turned 50 in this past May and out of his 50 years, he suffered with depression for 28 of them. He contemplated suicide 5 times in the last 2 years. He spoke to me each and every time. He had seen therapists and doctors and anyone —and that helped each time. Until yesterday morning when I got “the text”. He was already gone by the time the message came through. I’m numb, I’m confused, I’m nauseous and sobbing and frantic and then I’m a pile on the floor. I feel like he was my real twin and not just my Irish Twin. I feel like part of me left with him.
I’m struggling to process every aspect of this. Where do I start? It’s all so raw.