Today, tonight a year ago was my little brother’s last day alive… July 27th, 2023, I was woken up to a call at 9 am from our big sister that my brother hung himself. He used two ropes… no sign of struggle. No note…. I remember the instant feeling of despair. Our family isn’t the same without him. His gf told him he’s a deadbeat dad. And he wasn’t. It’s all just so ugly and unfair and messed up. There’s so much to it. He barely turned 24 June 3rd 2023. Now I’m awake and I can’t sleep because of the wide range of complications now that he’s gone. How will we prove to our little baby nephew his dad loved him? She’s already moving on and there’s so much hurt and a sense of betrayal. And I just wish I could die too. But I can’t. I have a daughter and a husband… I’m sick in my soul and nothing could make me feel better. His goofy faces and laughs. His sweet sensitive personality… he already felt like a failure for so many financial reasons. I remember him the last month looking so defeated all the time. His sadness, stress, and hopelessness came out in the form of anger because let’s face it, a man doesn’t like to feel weak or let people see him cry, so it’s easier to be angry. But an angry man is a depressed man. He lost so much weight. He withdrew from everyone. I wish we could have seen it happening. And I lived so far away…. I feel like I failed him. Because when he’d visit me and my husband I noticed the hope and the light and energy return to his eyes, like yeah, you know what your right. I can do this – it’s just baby steps. Then he’d go back home, to that environment…