My bub, my dudey, my best friend, my twin. How heartbroken I am that you’re not here anymore. My world feels empty and hollow. I want you back so badly it makes me feel sick. You know the lengths I went to and would go to in order to keep you alive, so you told me you were doing better. I believed you; I was so relieved. We had reservations at a Brazilian steakhouse for Thanksgiving later that week. You bought Christmas decorations at Hobby Lobby and FaceTimed me because you were so excited about them. It’s been over a year now, life has kept going and sometimes I can’t believe it’s real. I miss you so much my bubby. I want to pick up the phone and hear your voice. I want to go to your apartment, I want you to come to mine. I want to give you advice, and I want advice from you. I don’t know what to do with all of your things. I haven’t talked to Mom since the day after your funeral because of everything she did.

Katie, you are so important to me. I have a hole in my heart that will never be filled. I hope you hear me when I talk to you. I hope the things I see are actually signs from you. I hope you truly are always with me like you promised you would be in your letter.

I will never stop loving you, bub.