Sandy,
I feel so sad for ho much u suferred. And for how u were so alone in the end. And for how long it took u to die in your confused state.
Yoru brain was so disturbed that u though twe were against u, but, in fact, we all loved u dearly.
Just feeling teary today about your suferring with schizoaffective disorder.
Love u. I hope that the God u rejected has taken u into his arms anyway, being merciful beyond measure. I hope u r in a more peaceful place.