I am so heartbroken. I lost my sister may 3 of this year. I cant function, I can’t sleep , my brain is in overdrive. I’m in sobriety and I’m on the verge of a relapse. I just don’t know what to do. People who haven’t dealt with suicide just don’t understand it’s a different type of grieving I feel . It’s so intense and I just want 10 minutes with her to change her mind. My one and only sibling is gone and a piece of me died with her

I lost my only sibling, my baby brother, to suicide a little over two months ago. He was in his 20s. The pain and suffering is unending, and it is severely isolating.I have attended a couple of suicide bereavement groups in my area in order to not feel so alone. However, I have found that majority of people in attendance are 30+ years older than me and sadly lost their children. I’m desperate to meet or talk to anyone who has also lost their sibling to suicide, and understands the distinct pain of sibling loss in this manner. Particularly, from people who lost their only sibling in this manner.

I’m hoping someone here might relate to my story. It would be slightly comforting to know I’m not completely alone in all this.

It’s been 13 days since you died and made me an only child. I don’t like it. I don’t like how sad mom is and there’s nothing I can do to help her. I hate how I question if it’s ok to feel happy throughout my day now. I wish you would have texted me that night. You know I’m awake late. I wouldn’t have judged. Why didn’t you ask me for help!!?? I go to text you at night sometimes, Iike we would normally do, while I was at home and you were at work and then it hits me. I have to be strong in public, by our parents, your wife and kids. I am forced to grieve in private by myself. My brain since I was 15 months old has made pathways and stored things about you because that’s when I first met my little brother. You are still alive in my head. I hear you in my head. I get upset at you for this then feel bad for it. I love you so much. You were my first friend. I wish I could know why. I wish I could go back to the last day i saw you and see what I missed. I saw you two days before you died. I keep going over that 20 minute interaction in my head and nothing about it to me was out of the ordinary. We even had a little funny sibling spat!! I keep reading things all about this to try to understand and you knew that’s what I’d do. I an your, loves to read and learn, big sister. You would tease me about it. When your daughter got into reading though you were so proud and went on about how seeing her sitting in the living room reading a book reminded you of seeing me like that as kids. I understand I won’t get the answers I seek. I hope you’re ok.

Hi everyone,
I am just reaching out to any support I can find after my sister took her life 2 weeks ago. I’d love to find another person in a similar situation.My sister and I were close. She was also a very private person so this situation was very unexpected and I am trying to work out the best way to process my new reality.

Any support would be very appreciated.
Liz from Australia X

I had always prayed for a sibling. My parents divorced when I was a baby, but I was determined somehow, someway I would get a sibling. I prayed every night for one of them to get remarried and I could get a brother.In 2008, my father got remarried to my amazing step-mom, and along came my answered prayer. My step-brother Mickey. He was 15 years older than me. I was so excited to have a sibling finally.

In 2017, I talked to Mickey for the last time. His addiction to alcohol had come a head, and he abandoned his wife and kids…. Actually let me rephrase that: the addiction led him to do that. He himself would never do that.

I watched my dad and step-mom try to help him so many times. Money, hospital visits and bills, rehab, new jobs, getting clean, finding him drunk, rinse and repeat. This was a cycle for years. I watched on the sidelines in anger, as he took all their attention. Even in the midst of my own addiction, I faced it alone and never received help from them. My mother, on the other hand, was my angel and helped me. She filled in and was everything I needed. Even when I had my own attempt, she saved me. Her and God almighty saved me from myself.

In April 29, 2026: my brother’s addiction convinced him getting clean was not worth it anymore.  I no longer have to fight for attention. I no longer have to worry about the cycle. But I no longer have a brother….

And I still have faith God has a plan, but my faith is bruised right now.

Hey Tom,

My heart breaks for the pain you experienced in your short life here on earth. You were in so much pain both mental and physical and I hated to see you hurt. I’m sorry we were unable to help you and that we weren’t their when you passed. You passed away Jan. 20, 2003 but I didn’t know until 2004 and I never found out where you passed or the details on your death till April 2026. Mom, was worried she could not handle what happened surrounding your death and she was so right to halt me looking for you. I was able to get 20 more years with Mom following us losing you and even though she ached for you – her pain was nothing compared to what happened and what I found out (that would have broke our Mother). I could only imagine, actually I can’t imagine, how desperate you felt. I’m so sorry Tommy for all you went through but I do take comfort in knowing you are at peace. I also found out that since they didn’t know where we were, they scattered your ashes in the river locally to where you passed. I love you my big brother and I wish we could have grown old together and that you were able to live in peace.

My beautiful sister died of starvation and fear of medical help. I’m so sad I’m really gonna miss our physical connection.

Hi brother. I miss you; but what’s new?!
My house is a home right now. It feels so good to wake up here. I have everything I need. Starting my day feels ease these days. WHAT I WOULD DO TO HAVE YOU OVER. My whole life you decorate every room I had until my early 20s. I’m 33 now, 3 years older than you ever got to be – weird because I’m your little sister. I remember crying so hard on my 31st birthday; knowing I was passing your earth age. Speaking of, your birthdays coming up. March 25. This will be your 4th birthday absent; we will celebrate you anyways. I miss you brother.
B R E A T H
Well, I always think of you when I’m decorating my house. I could use your help, some guidance. I’m just not good at it. Previous years I would cry so hard because you weren’t here. Of course in the beginning it was a real angry cry – so mad at you; but today….. I am typing thus far without a tear. Probably my first post of many on this site. Don’t get me wrong, I still cry for you – realllllll ugly cries. Right now, I feel at peace; Lately I’ve been cocooning. More reason to have you here with me. I wish we could share food recipes. I miss you cooking for me. You’d be impressed by my skills in the kitchen.Ugh.. I am reminded that I’m still growing without you. I still don’t understand how. How I’m existing this long without you. Oh hey, there’s those tears. Hahaha gaddddamn.
It still hurts. My throat skill tightens up along with my chest. That weird congestion feeling, the tears, that physical pain in heart. Steven, I miss you so freaking much.Please please please give Mom and brother some of your radiant energy. I know they could use it these days. I’m okay over here, but still missing you always. XO XO

F. Pooh

Losing a little sister is an all-consuming kind of pain, and I just want you to know—you are not alone. There are so many of us walking through similar heartbreak, even if it feels isolating.
In April 2024, I attempted to take my own life. I survived, and within hours my mom, my sister, and her husband—who live two hours away—were at my house. That night, we all sat together on my bed. I remember my sister asking me how I could do something like that, and whether I knew suicide was considered an unforgivable sin.
Through tears, I told her what I truly believed: that God forgives all sins. That in those final moments, when someone cries out, “God, I can’t do this anymore,” He knows their heart. I believe He meets them in that pain with understanding and mercy. And I also believe that when it isn’t our time, something intervenes. On August 1, 2024, my little sister went home alone and took her life.
When I got the call, I fell to my knees. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t understand how this could happen—especially after that conversation we had just months before. She was only 34 years old. At her funeral a week later, the room was overflowing. So many people loved her.
Seven days after we buried her, on August 14, I received another devastating call: my 14-year-old daughter had been arrested and charged with first-degree murder. Everything inside of me shattered. My days became filled with grief, anger, and a darkness I can barely put into words. Then, on September 18, I discovered a video in my husband’s email—he had been with another woman. That was the moment I felt completely broken. Hopeless. Alone. Like there was no way out. I attempted to take my life again. I had barricaded myself in a room. I don’t know how long I was unconscious before my husband broke in and called 911. I remember waking up angry—angry that I was still here, angry that it hadn’t worked.But today, it’s March 2026. And I’m still here.I’m not okay. Most days are still incredibly hard.

I lost my little brother almost 9 weeks ago. He hid his pain from everyone in his life so his loss was a complete surprise to my family and to everyone else in his life. Now, I have a few “okay” days, but then, days like today, are absolute hell on earth. I have so many questions that will never be answered and it eats away at me from the inside. I don’t know how I am going to carry this for the rest of my life. It’s so, so hard. I want him back so much and I know that’s selfish, but I can’t help myself. I would have done anything to help him and I’m so disappointed in myself that he didn’t reach out to me for help; I have a lot of regret about things I should or could have done. His birthday is coming up in a few weeks and I don’t know what to do. I miss him so much all the time.