It has been almost 4 weeks. Why did you do this? Did you not think of the damage it would leave mom and dad finding you? They are a mess and I am trying to be strong for them and for my own family. Mom blames herself that she did not see the signs and that you were always happy. I guess you hid it well. I wish you could of experienced this life little bro. You never gave it a chance. I kept telling mom and dad for years that you need to get out of the house, get a job, and actually experience life. I think you had severe social anxiety and maybe that is why you never wanted to leave the house. Your door is still shut at mom and dad’s house, they cannot open it yet. I am hoping I can get them to move closer to me and sell the house. I am so mad at you right now. This pain is excruciating. Not many people know and I have to put on my best face around people who have no idea what I am going through. Mom and dad do not want people to know how. It feels like a dirty little secret. I wish you would have talked to mom and dad. I wish you didn’t do this. I wish we had a better relationship and you would of gotten to know your nephews better. I wish you would of left that damn house before doing this. Like dad said, you were just a lost soul. I love you bud, always have and always will.