I can’t belive you left us Jan 20, 2021. You said in your letter that you couldn’t take it anymore sorry. That was it that is all we got. For my whole life we’ve made it out of the worst situations or tragedies you could imagine. When I was 16 and ran away you have no idea how close I came to never coming home because a horrible person almost took my life. You told me you were proud of me for fighting for my life. You never told me what happened to you when you were a kid and how this might of been the reason you couldn’t handle this life. I thought I was there for you you made me think you were ok but you probably thought you were a burden on everyone I had a flash of panic months before you did this that you were going to do this so I frantically called mom and dad and told them to help you and they did and finally they were able to know you. Losing your wife and daughter to divorce was horrible I was so mad at them for abruptly leaving you like that alone in that house. I always hated that house and that garage.  I knew something was sinister about it. I am so mad at you but will always love you my big brother you were my guide into this world my inspiration but sadly you won’t be here for your kids or their kids. I will always be torn between anger and sadness.