Today I found my brother in his room haven taken his own life. He was 35…18 months older then me. He has battled with mental health for years and recently been struggling. I was worried over the weekend as I couldn’t get hold of him and he didn’t turn up for work today. Went to his flat where I let myself in to find him. Been scrolling through some sites which have seemed to calm my emotions a bit and help with some of my new feelings…
There are no words for the trauma of what you’ve been through. Even the work s*** or f***** pales in comparison to this. I can’t offer words of comfort. it’s almost a year since the same happened to my brother. No one deserves the pain they or we go through.
I feel your pain. It’s been 2 years since my sister took her life and I will never forget that day. Going into her room. The trauma of it all. I changed that day-part of me died with her, and I am still learning how to keep going forward in this horrible new reality that is my life. I know this is so recent for you, and I remember when it was for me. I could barely leave my house, curled up on my bed every night hysterically crying and gasping for air as my husband frantically tried to calm me down unsuccessfully. The pain was just unbearable and I didn’t want to move forward because it took me further from the past where she was alive…if that makes any sense. I found this website pretty soon after it happened and it was the only thing that helped me get though—it still is, sometimes. Knowing that we are (unfortunately) not alone in this, and the pain and suffering. Keep on going forward even when it seems impossible, and eventually there will be a day when it gets just a bit easier to smile.