January 3, 2019 changed my life for the worst. The day started off with worry anyway. My 12 year old nephew (my sister’s  son) was having gallbladder surgery. And to top it off it was my sister’s birthday. Well after they got to come home, my little brother Lance sat on the back of the 4 wheeler and put a shot gun to his head and killed himself. The worst part of it was my sister and another brother and my brother Lance’s 4 year old daughter and his wife were all outside with him when he shot himself.

Now this is where it gets even worse. The brother T is also a kidney dialysis patient and isn’t doing good at all. So not only did I lose my littlest brother, I’m also going to lose my brother T. I live 4 hrs away from them and just didn’t know anything like this was going on. I have so many questions that will never be answered. Why didn’t Lance just get a divorce? How did I not know all this was going on? I just can’t understand any of this.