My brother shot himself with his hunting rifle on 02 Oct 2018. His co workers had been concerned for him and asked me to check on him at home, where I found him passed away. I have had wonderful support from people but I am still struggling with the fact he didn’t speak out to me, I will always miss him dearly and he was a wonderful friend for 40 years.
I am sad to read your note. It reminded me of us. My younger brother was a big hunter and loved the outdoors. We were two years apart and he shot himself in my parents house at Thanksgiving several years ago. Unfortunately we only had 19 years together. Time helps the hurt but you must allow yourself to hurt. Holidays are tough but know you are not alone in your fight and I will pray for you and your family.
My brother was my “wonderful friend” (i like your wording) for 36 years. My little brother. I miss him so very much. He didnt speak to me about anything either. He called our parents the night before but nothing seemed out of the ordinary to them. It is something that is hard for me to come to grips with as well. You are not alone. Sometimes I wonder if he knew I would talk him out of it and he already had his mind made up so he didnt call. You will think about it so many times but you cannot let it eat at your soul. Your brother wouldnt have wanted that either.
I just keep telling myself it was his decision and I have to respect that. I know it sounds weird but it keeps me from letting it get the best of me. May peace find its way to you.