Still Missing you Kate
Friends, I love reading your posts because they are truly inspiring, though sad, and obviously touch my heart too.
I lost my sister Kate back in April. It was a sudden shock, and as most of us, I was in shock for the first month or so. Going up to Toronto to gather her few belongings and ashes was truly torturous and sad. We came home and had the service, and the most difficult thing in my life was delivering her eulogy. No, I didn’t make it through without tears, but who cares?
Anyway, I’ve been trying to put her out of my mind and focus on work, but as I’m sure you all know, during certain times; driving home, getting ready for bed, and even waking up the thoughts creep into my mind. Could I have done more? Maybe, but it wouldn’t have changed the outcome. I’ve decided that simply ignoring and burying my feelings isn’t the way to do things. I’ve found a local support group for survivor siblings and plan to attend. Yes, it’s not even been three months yet, and I don’t know that I’ll ever get over this, and will never forget my beloved sister, but thought maybe talking to like minded people might help. I pray nightly for everyone on this site, and everyone who has lost someone and hasn’t found this site. I’ll continue to read your letters because I can honestly feel the emotion in them and it makes me feel less lonely.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my brother in April too.
Sorry for your loss too Terri. I know what you’re going through and it sucks. Not sure of the circumstances in your bother’s case, but I know it’s heartbreaking. I pray for every person on this site, and just hope over time it gets easier for all of us. Take care of yourself.
Sorry Terri, but I’m not sure if it’s normal or not, but are you also constantly looking for signs that your brother can hear you, or signs that maybe he’s in a better place now? I do every day, I pray for it and haven’t seen anything. Anyway, I ask everyone that because I just don’t know.
I also lost my brother in April. My hour by hour has turned into day by day. My comfort is knowing he is in heaven and pain free and can see clearly. I also know my brother would have never done this to myself, our siblings and especially our parents. He loved us as much as we loved him. Depression is a dark, dark place. I pray for those struggling with it and i pray for you and your family.