Subject: Missing my brother John

It’s now been 238 days since I lost my younger brother John. It’s been very difficult through the holidays and I continue to try to accept what happened. I gave my 4 nieces and nephews a beautiful slate plank with an individualized picture and saying for each of them as a gift. I still struggle with wishing they had explained everything that was and had happened. And wishing that I had asked the right things. I love the movie “It’s a Wonderful Life” and wonder why I wasn’t able to be my brothers Clarence. I find it hard to totally express my feelings to my family as they then start to become concerned about me. But all I trying to do is work through my own grief.