Dear J and S,
Your choices nearly killed me. Your children have suffered. I continue to explain your decisions. People are shocked that Mom and Dad raised two men-talented, established, wealthy, fathers, who left a legacy of suicide to our family. I am fighting the shame and embarrassment of what you did every day. I have my daily suicide tears. My life is forever changed. I am not you, I am a lonely sister who now has to grow old without you. The grief goes on and on. I go back to our happy times together never imagining that you both would — yourselves. I am a compassionate, kind, beautiful, and creative mother; that is how I am determined to define myself. Your mental illness was not treated. I did my best to help you but you didn’t listen to anyone. You left a mess for me to clean up, just like my entire life in our family. Mom and Dad did everything for you to be successful. I can’t imagine how they feel knowing that their sons — themselves. I hope you have found peace. I have not and never will. Your children’s lives are really messed up too. Your loving sister, D