You have always been there for me ever since we were little and our parents abandoned us. You were only 7, three years older than me and was making sure I was fed, dressed, and we made it to school on time. I know your teenage years were rough on you but you didn’t have to leave at 16. You never could live by other people’s rules. When I was 27 and living out of my car, you offered me a place to live that wasn’t even yours and made it happen! I have not forgotten the lessons you gave me on how to take care of myself.

Mom’s husband found your body on Sunday. I’ve not been able to even think right since. I wished you had just left the alcohol alone – maybe you wouldn’t even have gotten divorced. I told you I’d help you. I was there for 2 of the hospitalizations when you told me “You don’t really love me.” I gave you an ultimatum of if you kept drinking, I wouldn’t talk to you. I didn’t talk to you for 5 months only to receive a call from mom saying, “come quick, your brother’s dead!”

You have always been there for me, I feel like I can’t say the same. You needed me and I couldn’t do for you what you did for me. You were hardened and bitter and wanted things your way only. I’m sorry Chris. I hurt so much.

I lost my oldest sister to suicide on October 5th 2023. I miss her everyday and struggle with the fact that she is no longer with us. I never expected her to do something like that. She was usually a happy person, someone I always wanted to be like. I wish I would’ve let her know that. She had reached out to my mother but I feel so bad that she didn’t feel comfortable enough to try and reach out to me. I know she had some health issues and her and her husband of 25+ years were separated, but she appeared to have moved on. I wish I would’ve made more time for my sister. I plan on getting counseling to help navigate this as I feel I’m not handling it right. I encourage anyone who feels similar to get some help as this has been the most difficult loss I’ve ever experienced.

If it was it was 14 years it could have been yesterday – I lost my shield, my protector, my big brother. It’s been said that when you laugh the world laughs with you and when you cry, you cry alone. With all all the turmoil and challenges my life present before me, I never cried alone because my big brother was there.

My brother took his own life in October last year.
The inquest is next month.My question is should I go to the inquest.
I know no one can tell me what I’m feeling or what I should do.
I just have so many questions.

I hope this is ok to ask.

My heart aches. I lost my brother in October 2023. I ask everyday how do I live the rest of my lie without my big bro. How it aches so bad knowing I’ll never see him again

We spoke daily about his life and I knew he was struggling but really never imagined this. I was there as much as I possibly could have been. We had such deep conversations and I thought he was moving in a positive direction. He had so much to live for and give this world.

I miss him so much, he was incredible, kind, smart, generous, beautiful, thoughtful and honestly I couldn’t be more proud to call him my brother. I love you so much, I wish I did more, I wish you didn’t feel so worthless, I wish you were here. I yearn to communicate with him. I just want to talk to him.

My mum and dad have moved in with my family and I. It’s all just a lot. It’s all a lot. I’m sorry little brother – you should be here. I hope you know how much I cherish your memory. I will carry you with me in my heart for the rest of my life.

I hope and pray you are at peace.

Gia, I am so sorry I couldn’t take away your pain.I wish I could have saved you. I wish I could have been there for you. I know we were different, but I wish I had accepted that.

I hope you are at peace now, and I hope you are filled with eternal love.

Forever you sister,
Sophia

My oldest brother committed suicide on January 14th, 2025, only a few weeks ago. We had just placed my mom in hospice after Christmas. When dad called me, he was crying. I was prepared to hear that mom had passed, not that my brother had committed suicide. When I heard that, it felt like someone ripped my heart out of my chest, threw it on the ground, and smashed it with a sledgehammer. My brother had been having some health issues since the summer. He said the doctors didn’t know what was wrong. That wasn’t the truth. I found a blood test result ftom October in his medical paperwork. He had been diagnosed with blood cancer, and it had gotten into his liver. He didn’t tell anyone, not even his best friend. It breaks my heart that he chose to keep it a secret, to go through it all alone.

Hey little brother.

When I pray to God, I ask him to deliver the

Message to you if possible.

I always ask him to please tell you how

Sorry I am. I am so sorry. profoundly sorry.

That night you told me you were tired of living. I

Thought that was a normal part of your recovery

We pushed you too hard. In fact, your entire

Life story is how we failed you.

You have a niece now. She’s bright and hilarious

You would have had a hoot with her. I always

Thought you’d have children before me that I

Could spoil. I haven’t had a moment of peace

Since the day you left. I been through about

4 therapists. I can’t forgive myself for letting

You do this. I didn’t know Joshua. I thought

You’d get better. I hope those NDE stories are

True and that you are in eternal bliss right now.

I miss you so bad it physically hurts. Would you

Please forgive me.

My little brother Jacob took his own life on 9/6/2024. He took a piece of my heart with him to heaven.I have yet to properly grieve- Our Dad passed on 9/28/2023- I have been in a 2.5 yr custody battle with my ex. Any feedback on what helps with this process…Somedays I wanna just Throat punch people other days I don’t wanna leave the house.