I lost my little brother almost 5 months ago (January 2008) he was 14. There were no signs. He had never been in trouble. Straight A student, and great athlete. He just let being 14 get to him.... I miss him everyday.

Why am I slipping back into denial? I will not even allow myself to think of my brother for fear of being swallowed by the blackness of reality again. Am I the only one?

I lost my big brother, and the guy i looked up to, just 6 weeks to suicide totally out of the blue. He's never been in trouble , always fought for the things he wanted like becoming a firefighter! He always knew when i was upset, when i needed someone there and I wasnt there when he needed me the most! so hard to get through being the younger sister everyone thinks you can get through it but you cant! x

Dale,

Right now you and I would be on the phone talking about how soon I would be arriving at your home to spend memorial weekend with you, like I have since moving to GA. This week was the last time I saw you before you left me 3 years ago on June 10th. I still hurt and cry so much today. My best friend is gone and I don't know what to do. I am empty and alone. I love and miss you Dale so much.

hi there,



gosh reading everyone's stories is so sad and heartbreaking...



my younger sister committed suicide just over two months ago (March 2008) at just 20 years old. i miss her so much and am feeling so, so awful. I know i will never get over this, but I would appreciate hearing from other people about their experiences and what helped them get through each day.



thanks

Hello to all, I am just finding this website and am so sorry for all of you. I just lost my little brother (35) on Jan. 23, 2008 to suicide. I still can't believe it- as I am typing it. We were only two years apart- he was my lifelong best friend. It the hardest thing ever to imagine. I still have guilt, and I am sure I will forever. As I was shopping for plants the other day, I almost had a panic attack in the store, feeling that "he's really gone" feeling, and I thought to myself that I will never, ever be the same.



I am sorry for you all, and I am praying for you as I know the depths of dispair that you feel.

Unfortunately, due to an ongoing spambot, we are going to have to remove the guestbook and replace it with a new one that has more security measures. We anticipate this happening in the next two weeks. If you have any entries that you would like to save, please print those out as we aren't sure if we'll be able to move the old ones to the new guestbook. We're sorry for any inconvenience and are doing the best we can to stay on top of removing the spam off the guestbook in the meantime. We know how important this guestbook is to many people and are trying to take care of this but also want to allow people time to print out any entries they might want to save. Thank you.

Warren, I finally dreamed of you last night for the first time since we lost you. I woke up feeling as though we had just spent time together and I was temporarily lifted from the place of darkness that I have been in since January. To see you in motion again (even if only in dreams) was like food for the soul. I hope that I will continue to see you in my dreams,somehow this makes me feel as though you are still physically present in my life. I love you I love you I love you!

I just joined the Overnight walk for NYC June 7 - 8th. I have friends walking with me - we walk for my dear brother Warren Poole and those who suffer the way he did. I will never forget you Warren - how special you were, are . . . i will keep you in my heart always. Everyday, every minute, every thought - you are there. I will get through this. I will. And you will help me get through this. I'm working on understanding - I know you're looking down on us and wanting only the best for us. I will keep trying no matter how much this hurts. And it hurts. . . i love you.



My thoughts and heart go out to each you that have posted here. I read them and I understand what you are going through. Sorry. Sorry for us all. Hang in there.

Happy Birthday Dale. You would have been 49 today. I have missed telling you Happy Birthday for the past two years.

MY sister who was 35 hung herself after a long battle with SLE on may 3rd 2008.

We just had the funeral yesterday the 8th. We were 7 years apart but she always took caare of me and when my mother ran out on me her husband and her took me in. She had tried overdosing on pills on the 30th of April and I was atleast able to tell her I loved her more than she would ever know and she said the same.

We knew she had less than a year left and she was getting weaker day by day. I feel so lost and confused now and her 2 boys and husband are lost.I went the entire funeral without crying. I cry but not like I think I should. I cant sleep I cant think. iam lost.

Tomorrow is a year and five months since my sister shot herself at the age of 36. I am trying to keep myself busy with things - I just reached the minimum fundraising goal for The Out of Darkness Overnight Seattle walk for suicide prevention. Check it out if you're interested in participating. I was surprised at how quickly the donations added up. www.theovernight.org. As I read through everyone's entries, I think maybe I am not so alone, and I can get through this somehow. Every day I cry when I think of her. It feels like my heart is a boat on an endless sea...

Tomorrow marks the 8th anniversary of my sister's death. Christi was a smart, funny and loving older sister whom I would give anything to see again. Life seems trivial at times now. The pain never goes away, you simply grow to endure it somehow. I wish everyone peace in the thought that keeps me getting out of bed in the morning: "I am one day closer to being with her forever." Love to all and God bless. To my sis, you are always in my heart!I LOVE YOU!

Warren, people keep asking me if I am angry with you for your decision to end your life and that question alarms me. Why would I be angry with you when the pain that ended your life was a heavy enough cross for you to bear? How could I possibly take personal offence at your pain? I am angry at myself for never having suspected that you even suffered with depression. I often wonder if I paid enough attention, really listened to you... There are no words to even begin to describe mine and Kim’s love for you and our pain at your absence. An author once said “how can you lose someone if you know where they are?”. I know you are in Heaven, but I still feel the unimaginable horror of having ‘lost’ you. Thank God we ended every conversation by telling each other ‘I love you’. I just wish I had told you how much. Take special care of the piece of my heart that you took with you. I’ll take special care of our memories. I love you War, your heartbroken sister.

I recently finished reading a book by T.J. Wray titled "Living Through Grief When an Adult Brother or Sister Dies - Surviving the Death of a Sibling". Often through the book, the writer was able to put into words what I've been experiencing since losing both of my beautiful brother's to suicide. After reading several messages on this site, it mirrors many of our mind-numbing emotions....God please comfort us all.

Dale,



I dreamed about your funeral last night and although I think of you, miss you and grieve over losing you every day, I awoke this morning with that overwhelming feeling in my gut. The hurt of not having you here with me. I have been so sad for nearly three years now. I have lost just about everything from the pain this has put me through. I wish you would have thought about how much I loved you and how this was going to just about kill me. I love and miss you Dale, EVERY DAY.



Your sis always

I am slowly beginning to realize that it is not my life that has changed as a result of this deeply personal tragedy in my family, it is I who am changing and seeing the world differently. With compassion, with less judgment, with hurt, with faith, with introspection, with meaning. I'm on that path now - and I pray my brother stays close in spirit always.

My brother Johnny committed suicide on February 27, 2008!

He was the 4th child of 7 and I am his younger sister separated by 4 years of age. The shock and disbelief is unreal...He had the most infectious laugh and compassion for anyone who crossed his path...Ironically he was always so busy helping everyone else fix everything that it took the focus off of his own pain. I had a feeling this would be the end result from him yet when the call came I couldn't believe it. He promised he would never harm himself! A husband of 23 years with an amazing 22 year old son. I have to believe in my heart that I see only one set of footprints right now.

God Bless anyone who took the time to read this. I now have an extra angel to look over me!

http://www.theovernight.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=home.viewPage&page_id=A4F485AB-7E90-9BD4-C69B83A377631943



This is the link for the walk in NYC on June 7, 2008 called 'Out of the Darkness Overnight' -- it's approx 20 mile walk starting at dusk and finishing in the early morning hours. The Overnight is designed to raise funds and awareness and help end the stigma surrounding suicide and depression.



I will be taking part in this walk and am trying to pull a team of friends together. If anybody is interested in joining our team or just joining the walk as individual but would like the company, let me know.



My email address is: kimd.potter@gmail.com



Take care all of you,

Kim

Hello, my name is Mary. Please know that my heart goes out to each one of you visiting this site. I am 40 years old and have lost both of my loving brothers to suicide. September 28, 1981 my oldest brother Mike, who was 18 years old at the time, ended his life. Most recently, my 42 year old brother Matt took his life on November 24, 2007. Did I ever imagine suicide could touch my family - NEVER! Now, here I sit nearly 4 months into this HORRIFIC GRIEF JOURNEY AGAIN!!! My BEAUTIFUL family of five is now down to my parents and me. I desperately miss my brothers, but draw some comfort from believing they are together in heaven. My deepest prayer is that the Lord will give each of us the strength to walk through one more day, and then the next. E-Mail me if you'd like to talk mdaniel@brainerd.net. God bless you.